Is Age Three Harder Than Age Two?

I’m gonna be honest here, folks.

I may know a lot about language development, but this whole parenting thing has already thrown me for a loop more than once. Case in point- my babies are wearing me OUT! They’ve been three for a grand total of 16 days but I am beginning to fear that all the people who warned me that age three was more challenging than age two were exactly right. I even asked about it on the Twodaloo Facebook page (if you don’t already “like” us over there, you should hop on over- the discussion has been pretty lively recently!) and got a pretty big response. So I thought I’d write a post about it.

Is Age Three Harder Than Age Two?

A Terribly Informal Survey

Well, if you go by what my Facebook readers say, the answer is a definite YES. In all caps for emphasis. Of the 75 folks that answered my question, 88% reported that they found age three to be more difficult (in terms of behavior) than age two with their own children or children they worked with. Only two people found two to be a more difficult age, and three people actually reported that age four was the worst of all. However, several others said age four was their favorite age, so here’s hopin’

As always (I have fabulous FB peeps), responses were honest, intelligent, and often downright hilarious! Here are a few of my favorites:

Hilarious

“Girl, when (my son) was 3, I used to hold his sweet little face in my hands and repeat ‘I love you’ over and over until I calmed down. During (my daughter’s) 3s, I perfected the art of making bellinis.”

“Yep, 3 is tough. ‘Threenager’ is what we call ours.”

Threenager, The Trying Threes, The Unmentionable Threes…lots of people had nicknames for this “unique” stage of development.

Helpful

“My twins are 3 yrs 4 months, I thought I was going to lose it as my angels started getting whiny and combative. I find if I give them things to do that help me, they actually respond better and are happier. Even if it isn’t really a big thing. I got them step stools and they lug them around so they can “see” and they have their own brooms and dusters, I let them “fold” laundry. I stepped back and tried to see what was going on, and they want more of my attention but I still have things that we have to do, so I just let them help. And I find rewarding them for helping makes it even better.”

“Having taught 2 & 3 yos , raised 2 kiddos plus now my grandson who’s made it to 3.7 yrs I can honestly tell you that 3 is an extension of 2- but more intense. More vocabulary, frequently more frustration tantrums, & more independence. They have less patience but you have to have more. It’s the magical age & every day’s a different part of the roller coaster but worth it. Some days it’s like the merry go round (less ups and downs) but isn ‘t that really boring?”

“3 has been really hard and we are only a month in. Basically it boils down to this-she is learning how to control things by delaying, asking lots of questions (when she should be doing something else), demanding that I do everything for her while at the same time fighting for her independence. It has been frightfully exhausting. I have to just pray for patience and perseverance every morning and truly rely on The Lord to get me through. Otherwise, I think I’d lose my mind!!”

“If you follow the Montessori philosophy or look at their stages of development, 3,9,15 are challenging years because of where they are emotional and socially. They still want to be treated like the younger years but also want the freedom and independence of the older years.”

Biggest Challenges

Many people reported the same types of challenges with their little loves including increased frustration, whining, combativeness, mood swings, and alternating between being clingy and wanting more independence.

“In my opinion, I found 3 to be much harder than 2. My son became frustrated because he wanted to communicate more and play more and do MORE . . . but he wasn’t able to. I think it’s the frustration of being 3 that makes things harder on everyone!”

Seeing the Positive

Although it can be hard sometimes, it’s important to remember that there are lots of AMAZING things about three year olds, too. One commenter summed it up pretty succinctly:

“We didn’t have terrible twos but threes: oh boy! Also a great time for love and hugs!”

So here’s my takeaway message- my three year olds may be challenging, but they are also sweet, funny, adorable little people who are developing new interests, learning new things, and finding their unique personalities more and more each day. Even on the hardest of days, I try to remember all they’ve got going on in their little brains and bodies and cut them a little slack

More reads on age three:

Age Three: Defiance with a Smirk from Ph.D. in Parenting

How to Be A Good Mom to a Difficult Three-Year-Old by Aha Parenting

Three is More Terrible Than Two from Scary Mommy (This one is on the snarky side.)

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