I’m smart. But I’m not very brave.
I’m smart enough to know that for my family, homeschooling makes sense.
That the freedom to cultivate a lifelong love of learning unmarred by drills and testing and inappropriate standards is something I am lucky to be able to take advantage of.
That I may not have a crystal ball to see into our educational future, but we’ll take each year as it comes, and it will all work out just fine.
That I, as their Mother, am the person most well-equipped with the knowledge to make this decision on behalf of my children.
I’m typically full of anxiety and second-thoughts when it comes to big (and small) decisions. I should be terrified about embarking down this path. But all I feel is a quiet resolve and a deep confidence that this is right for us.
So why, until now, have I been hesitant to shout our decision from the rooftops?
A few weeks ago, a parent at the co-op asked me where I was enrolling the twins for their last year of preschool since we were leaving. “Actually, we’re going to be homeschooling,” I said, somewhat sheepishly. “You know, Brady travels so much that we’d like to be able to go with him, and I think it would be a great experience for the twins. And I feel like I missed out on a whole year with them already. And I know it’s not right for everyone, but its a good fit for our family, and we can always change our minds later on if it’s not working out…”
Wait a minute. Was I APOLOGIZING for daring to homeschool my own children to this poor, unsuspecting person who was just trying to make small talk with a fellow mom? Yep. I definitely was. My need for approval, my fear about what other people might think about me or say behind my back, my desire not to make anyone uncomfortable because of my unconventional views led me to rush to defend my choice before anyone could even raise an eyebrow. I needed to get to the bottom of this reaction.
I needed to OWN my decision.
So here it is, world: We’re homeschooling, and we are proud to say so! I will gladly answer any questions you have about our decision if I feel like it…but I don’t have to. And just because we’re choosing this path for our children doesn’t mean I will look down on you if you happen to be choosing a different one for yours. We’re all following our hearts to do what’s right for our families, and that should be good enough, don’t you think?
Wow, I feel braver already 😉
Have you ever been hesitant to own a decision you made? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.