Oh my loves,
Motherhood is the most exquisite pain. Every time I pick you up and feel your soft cheek on my skin, your hot breath on my neck, I die a tiny death knowing that this could be the last time you ask me to hold you. You are both growing so quickly, becoming so strong and asking so many questions about your world. It’s an amazing gift to be able to experience life through your eyes, a gift I still can’t really believe that I have been given.
Your eyes, your eyes. You both have the most amazing light in your eyes! You have a hunger for knowledge about faraway places and about tiny things that are right under our noses; things the rest of us take for granted. You want to know why, for goodness sake WHY? You love books. You drink them in, pore through them alone, together, with me…you don’t read yet but that’s inconsequential. You are collectors of words; you hear new ones, try them out, turn them around and around on your lips, and store them away to treasure later on. You are so excited about the world- there are just so many new things to KNOW!
There are things about being your mother that are difficult for me. There are things that I question every day- am I doing my very best? Am I patient enough? Are you getting what you need?
But there is one thing I am certain of down to the very center of my mama heart- I must protect that light. I must protect that light.
You see my babies, I know. I know what it’s like to feel so full of that light, bursting with ideas and curiosity and enthusiasm and possibility and WHAT IF and FINDING OUT. I want you to have a secure place to nurture that light and lots of room for it to grow and shape your wonderful lives with adventure and fulfillment and love.
You haven’t discovered yet that the world can be a cruel place and that your sense of wonder and delight in the small victory of knowing is in danger of being eroded or buried or lost forever in the name of words like “rigor” and “standards” and “performance.” I know I can’t protect you from everything, that eventually you will have to fight your own battles and make your own way in the world. But protecting your right to be a child, your right to keep that sense of wonder, that drive to learn and do and create just for the sake of knowing and understanding and not because someone more powerful has deemed it necessary and appropriate and proper- I promise you both that this is a fight that I will never ever stop fighting.
I will fight for your childhood. I will fight for that light in your eyes. I will fight for your right to love learning for learning’s sake.
Photo Credit: Mikell Media